After much thoughts, I have decided to put these memories in my blog. You may think that I have not forgotten about him. Its actually the opposite. I am now slowly trying to erase all the memories I had with him. That's why I am now writing them down in my blog so that I can still read about them in future. The relationship I had with this man only lasted for 3 months. I dun know how to describe the relationship I had with him but it was special at that point of time. He was a very nice & sweet guy. The only bad thing about him is that he is selfish. Well, everyone is selfish in one way or another so nothing wrong for him being selfish. Guess the only wrong is he picked the wrong girl.
He was really nice & sweet to me then. He would give me morning calls knowing that I always cannot wake up to go to work. He managed to get me an album that I wanted very much but was out of stock. When I was sick, he would sms me to remind me to take my medications. Sometimes, he would call or sms me to check if I have reached home after work. He was there when I needed a shoulder to cry on due to stress at work. I could share with him my problems at work. Those were all the sweet memories that I once strongly held on to.
I asked myself why I like him? He is definitely not a good looking guy. Maybe because we had common topics to talk about. We seem so alike. I never asked for any commitment when I was with him cause I knew he couldn't give me anything. I knew that at the end of the day I was going to fall flat on my face and no one would pity me. I was willing to take the risk cause I really do like him. I was even prepared to end the relationship when he realize that everything was a mistake. He finally did realized it was wrong but he didn't make an effort to tell me. He chose to avoid me hoping that I would get the hint. I finally got the hint but I was very disappointed. I was disappointed because he made me feel lost and I didn't know what I did wrong and why he gave me the cold shoulder. I end up being the one who took the initiative to talk to him and found out whats wrong. He gave me no choice but to let go. He even asked me not to hate him. It took me 6 months to get over it with the support of my friends. I have never felt so depressed & upset in my life. These 6 months were the toughest period in my life. Well, nobody is at fault. It takes 2 hands to clap anyway. I can only say that I met him too late. It will be good if I had met him earlier.
Sometimes I really wished that nothing had happened between us. I hated myself for falling into it. Well, there is no turning back. Now I just wanna to erase all the memories and continue looking for my happiness. Its been great to know him over the years and I do appreciate his advice & support given to me all this time. I sincerely hope that we can continue to be good friends.
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