He's Just Not That Into You (Chapter 1)

Chapter 1: He is just not into you if he is not asking you out

- An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of "ruining the friendship".

- Don't get tricked into asking him out. If he likes you, he'll do the asking.

- If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.

- Just because you like to lead doesn't mean he wants to dance. Some traditions are born of nature and last through time for a reason.

- "Hey, let's meet at so-and-so's party/any bar/friend's house" is not a date. Even if you live in Singapore.

- Men don't forget how much they like you. So put down the phone.

- You are good enough to be asked out.

Happy Birthday to YY!

I wanna dedicate this post to my beloved brother Javier Heng YY. He is finally 30 years old. Wanna wish him a Happy Birthday and may all his wishes come true. Hope he finds a girlfriend oon. Most important of all, I wish him lots of success & happiness in his life. Bro, stay cool (NOT COLD) always.

Good Endings Make Good Beginnings

Recently during Valentine's Day, I received a book as a gift from a good fren of mine. The book is call "Mars and Venus on a Date". I was wondering why he gave me this book until I started to read it. I've only read a few pages and I finally understand why he gave me the book. This book tells you how you should manage a love relationship. I have decided to share those good chapters on my blog as I read the book. Here is one now that I feel it's pretty good. It's call "Good Endings Make Good Beginnings":

The secret of making sure one relationship leads you to another one, closer to what you want, is to pay a lot of attention to how you end a relationship. Good endings make good beginnings. When you end a relationship feeling either resentful or guilty, it is much harder to move on to find a person who is right for you. Without an open heart, it is much more difficult to find the right person. When our hearts are open, we are able to be attracted to and even fall in love with the right person, or at least make progress in finding someone closer to the right person. When our hearts are open, we can be assured that we are getting closer to our goal. When our hearts are closed, however, we tend to repeat the same experiences.

Difficult Colleagues

I have been working since I was 17 and have come across many types of colleagues for the past 15 years. I always try to manage the situation if I do come across a difficult colleague. Been pretty lucky cause there weren't much such experiences. In fact, I've made many friends in all the companies I've worked in. Some are still in touch with me and some are not. I always believe in maintaining good relationships with my colleagues unless they really step on my "tail". I hated it when colleagues try to take advantage of my kindness. If they do that to me, I will no longer be that kind to you. I suppose what most people don't like in their working environment are people who back stabs or those who try to push their work away to others to do. I've recently come across a colleague who made really upset. She is obviously my senior since I hold the lowest position in the department. She has been in this industry for many years so she had alot of knowledge & experiences. She noticed some mistakes in a report I did and rather than telling me the problems, she sent an email to my big boss to "highlight" to him the mistakes I made. I was shocked when my boss replied her and copied me in the email so that I can amend the mistakes highlighted. There is nothing wrong for her to inform my boss about my mistakes but I think she could have manage it better. This is one of the sentence she wrote in the email: "Surprise to hear that she didn't check the numbers when local send to her". I think if she had told me the problem, I would have made an effort to improve. Most friends know that I am not someone who is irresponsible and refuse to admit my mistakes. Think she could have understand the problem more before escalating it to my boss. I suppose some issues can be resolved by just telling the person her mistakes. No need to make the issues so big. Anyway, I decided to hold my temper and keep my cool since I am partly at fault. There is no point in confronting her about it since she is such self-centered person. I don't suppose she can make any friends by working in this manner. The surprise thing is she is also an Aries. I always thought that Aries are good workers. Well, YY enlighten me that Aries can be "big-headed" when they reach a high rank in the company. After this incident, I decided that I shall learn from it and not be someone like her if I do succeed one day. I also wanna tell my friends that you should not get upset with difficult colleagues at work. Stay cool and resolve the issues first. Also learn from what others had done wrong and don't ever do the same to others. This is life although sometimes it sucks.

How important is Valentine's Day to you?

Yes, it's Valentine's Day again! I realize that now more singles are celebrating this occasion compare to those attached couples. Some couples feel that they have been together for such a long time and Valentine's Day is no longer important to them. I strongly believe that it is still a special occasion afterall. Though flowers are expensive on this day but think the men should not be saving that few bucks. I wish to advise the gals out there that you should not tell your boyfriend or husband that you do not like flowers and they should not spend getting them for you. Trust me, once you tell them this, you will never receive flowers again for the rest of your life. There are men out there who would really think that you are serious about it and would stop buying them. Also never tell them that restaurants are expensive and you need not celebrate this occasion. I am sure you can still plan for something special on a low budget. Not only guys need to be romantic on such occasions, girls can also do the same. In Japan, they would have 2 Valentine's Day, one on 14 Feb which is for the guys to shower partner with gifts & flowers & the other is White Valentine's Day on 14 March which the girls will buy gifts for the men. Don't just expect your boyfriend or husband to send you flowers on this day, you can also surprise your other half by sending him a cake or a bottle of wine as a Valentin's Day gift. I am sure it will make him look very good in front of his colleagues & friends that he has such a romantic girlfriend or wife. I've seen couples who have been together for as long as 8 years and the guy still send his girlfriend flowers on Valentin's Day. This is what I call being romantic. If your partner is allergic to flowers, you can still send her Ferrero Rocher chocolates wrap like a bouquet of flowers. I feel that there are many ways to surprise your partner so long you have the heart to do so. I don't really like those men who give lame excuses just to save that small sum of money on such occasions. Anyway, singles can also celebrate Valentin's Day with friends who are single like you. Don't think that this occasion is only meant for attached people. Well, no matter what you do, just make sure it is an enjoyable & memorable day.

Movie Watching

Ever since CNY, there are many good movies screened at the cinemas. Most of the time, I would prefer to download them to watch when they are available on the net. But recently, there are many movies that I can't wait to catch them in the cinemas. Here are the movies that I've watched or looking forward to watching:

- Red Cliff 2 (watched)

- The Wedding Game (watched)

- All's Well End's Well 2009 (watched)

- Bride Wars (watched)

- New in Town (watched)

- Look for a Star (watched)

- The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (Watched)

- K-20 (Jap Movie) (Watched)

- He's Just That Not Into You (Watched)

- Marley & Me (Screening, 26 Feb 09)

- Suspect X (Jap Movie) (Watched)

- Departures (Jap Movie) (Coming Soon, 03 Mar 09)

- Confessions of a Shopaholic (Coming Soon, 26 Mar 09)

So my dear friends, if you ever wanna watch any of the movies stated, please dun forget to ask me along. Btw, I have given priority to Cat aka Namiki for some of the movies cause she already booked me for them.

My Sony Ericsson C905

After weeks of waiting, I finally got my damaged Sony Ericsson C905 changed. I waited for a total of 7 weeks for Sony Ericsson to change to a new handset. I simply love the feeling of using the handset to talk. Been very frustrated using the earpiece. Thought I've a gotten the damaged phone replaced to a new one, I am still feeling not too good bout using this phone. I must say that the camera for this phone is very good. With 8.1 megapixels camera, you do not even need to bring your digital camera. As for the rest of the functions, I would only say its basic lah. I am now contemplating to sell the phone away and get another phone. Was considering phones like iPhone & Samsung Pixon. Seems like Samsung Pixon is out as it does not have Wi-Fi function in it. As for iPhone, there are also some limitations to the functions. Why can't I get a perfect mobile phone with both good camera as well as functions. Haiz, guess I have to just use my C905 until I come across a better phone.

Happy Valentine's Day

I know this post is up a bit early but thought I better post it earlier since most of my friends be busy celebrating Valentine’s Day. Anyway I just want to wish all my friends (attached and single) a Happy Valentine’s Day. For those who are attached, hope you have a wonderful day celebrating with your partner. For those who are not, hope you can find your love soon (also what I am hoping for) and enjoy this special celebrating with your friends or family. I know it is a bit disgusting to walk around in the streets and see so many couples with flowers & gifts. I hated that sight too but I am still gonna celebrate it with my friends. So make sure you have a wonderful day on 14 February whether you are attached or single.

A Relationship with No Commitment

I know I am contradicting myself. My earlier post says that I long to look for a simple relationship. But now I realize that I am not ready to commit to a relationship. Are there any relationships that do not require any commitment? I always tell others that to maintain a relationship, you will need to have trust, commitment & compromise. Now I am telling everyone that I do not want to commit. So silly right? If there is no commitment, then it is not considered a relationship. It is only considered a fling. Maybe I should just say that I am keen in having flings but not a relationship. I am enjoying my freedom now though I do miss having someone there for me when I am down. Maybe I have not met the right man who can make me want to commit and settle down. Haiz, think I will have a lot of friends scolding me after this is posted. Hehehe….

好想简简单单的谈场恋爱哦

经过1年半的单身生活，现在只想谈场简简单单的恋爱。一直以来，我都好难找到男友。可是我却有好多男性朋友。也许我的性格比较男性化吧。就算找到喜欢的对象，人家可能也不喜欢我。难道自己条件有那么差吗？还是要求太高了？我已经尽量在改造自己的外貌。相信应该比以前进步许多了。以前常告诉自己也许缘分未到吧。可是也不可能完全没有。缘分是一种很奇妙的东西。它可以让你喜欢上一个不可能爱上你的人，也可以让一个你不喜欢的人爱上你。缘分不是应该让你遇到命中注定的那个人吗？为什么我到现在还没遇到？还是我已错过了？我已经厌倦现在所过的疯狂生活。好想有一个爱我的人来疼爱我。难道这有那么难吗？老天爷，请您让我快一点遇到我的白马王子吧！

Why Can't I Be As Good As Others? (Adapted from "The Way of Youth" by Daisaku Ikeda)

Many, especially young people, often like to compare themselves with others and feel discouraged when they think they are not as good as others. But you must not allow yourself to make a comparison with others! Be true to who you are and continue to learn with all your might.
Even if you are ridiculed, even if you suffer disappointments and setbacks, continue to advance and do not be defeated. When you muster this strong determination in your heart, you are already halfway to victory. Rather than comparing your every joy and sorrow to that of others, aim to surpass your limits in your current situation. Those who can accomplish this throughout life are the true victors, the true geniuses.
When you hold fast to your beliefs and live true to yourself, your real value as a human being shines through. No matter how incapable you may think you are, there is definitely great potential inherent within you. Have courage to bring forth and develop the wonderful nature that is unique to you and let those qualities shine forth to illuminate all around you.

I am FAILURE

Today on the MRT on my way, I saw my ex-boyfriend Stephen. I was shocked when I saw him. Thought my eyes were playing tricks on me but when I take a second look, it was really him. He had aged so much till most of his hair were grey. Although he had some grey hair when I was with him 2 years ago, his hair were never that grey. I cannot believe it when I saw that almost half of his hair were grey. He looked even older than my dad. Where is the young & fit guy I knew 2 years ago. People always say that he look younger than his age. But now he looked much older than 41 years old. I dare not talk or look at him. I feel so upset cause it seems like this only happened to him after we broke up. I believe he must have put alot of blame on himself for the breakup. I hope he is happy now. I know life still has to go on but I cannot help feeling guilty about it. Had I not initiated the breakup, maybe we would be happily married now. I may not be better than him cause I am also still single. But I just cannot help getting upset when I see him in this state. I think I am such a failure when it comes to love. Maybe it is my retribution that I am still single. Maybe God feels that so long he cannot find a new love in his life, I do not deserve to find mine. I hope he didn't see me cause I think it will upset him too. I rather be the one to take all the sufferings now.

Shrek & Princess Fiona

Today, let me share with you a story:
Once upon a time, there lived a guy call Shrek. One day, he fell in love with Princess Fiona. With the help of their friends, he managed to win the love of Princess Fiona. Ever since they were together, Shrek & Princess Fiona lived in a world of their own. They were both busy involving in each other’s life & family. They even forget those friends who spent time, effort & money trying to bring them together. Shrek is a pretty self-centered person. As for Princess Fiona, she is a kind, nice & warm girl with many friends. Ever since she fell in love with Shrek, some friends decided to stay away from her because they do not know how to appreciate the character of Shrek. They became such a loving couple who cannot seem to able to live without each other. Princess Fiona tried influencing Shrek to become a better person but in the end, it was Princess Fiona who was influenced. She has now also become a self-centered person. She remained “silent” to all the “wrong” things that Shrek say or do. Maybe in her eyes, everything he had done is correct and what others do or say are wrong. I think we may not understand the greatness of their love. Just like most fairytales, they are going to live happily ever after in the world of their own.
However, if one day their castle is being attacked and they need to call their allied friends for help, think their friends may not be keen to help since they had given their friends a not so caring but care only when there is a need attitude.
Well, the morale of this story is to tell you that despite Love being the most wonderful thing on earth, there are many other things that are also important in life. One important factor is Friendship. There is a Chinese saying: “在家靠父母, 在外靠朋友”. I have always believed in this saying. You never know when you are gonna need your friends so don’t treat them like dirt especially those who has helped you before. Be grateful and start to treasure your friends around you.

CNY Partying @ Dragonfly (30 Jan 2009)

Sharol organised a CNY party session at Dragonfly on 30 Jan. I was still a bit sick but decided to go since I've already agreed to attend. Went to catch the movie "Bride Wars" before going over to Dragonfly. Anyway we had a pretty big group this time and seems like the table is a bit too small for all of us. As usual, had alot of fun drinking. The "live" singing there was great and I love it when they sing all the familiar songs from my times. I was still ok until we met Sharol's friend on our way back from toilet and had some drinks with them. After that, I drank a few more glasses of vodka orange. Towards the end of the session, I knew I was super high and did some pretty ridiculous stuff. By the time I got home, I was knocked out again. The first thing I did when the taxi stopped at my place was to open the door to puke. It was really embarrassing. Thereafter, I couldn’t even walked properly cause my head was spinning like crazy. Kai Ee had no choice but to stay with me at the void deck till I was able to go home. I must say a BIG THANK YOU to my brother for taking care of me that night. Think I drank till I am really sick that night. Wake up the next day with a bump on my head and blue blacks on my legs. I must have knocked myself a few times when I was drunk. Like I say, I am a really “lucky” girl this CNY. Got drunk during my first party session for Cow year. Maybe I should stop drinking that much next time.

This is Strange???

Hmmn, something really strange happened recently. I’ve got this guy friend who was pretty nice to me. After CNY, he suddenly became very cold towards me. No replies for sms sent and even though there was, it was just a short & lame one. I wonder what had happened that made him changed his attitude towards me. Did someone speak ill of me to him or he is this kind of person who got attitude problem? I thought he was busy and didn’t have time to reply me, but seems like this is not the case. I am pretty sure something must have happened but I just don’t know what it is. However, if I do find out that someone is behind all these, he/she better have a very good reason to explain to me.