My Last Post for the month

This shall be my last post for the month. I shall make it 30 posts for this month. Some reflections for the month. This month, I turned 32. This month is also our 5th anniversary if I am still with my ex-boyfriend. It has been almost 2 years since we broke up. I suppose both of us have moved on with our lives. A lot had happened this month. I celebrated my birthday with a birthday bash and received many wonderful gifts from friends. Received a small variable bonus from the Company. Got to understand some friends better. Changing to be a better person. Taking things more easily. Bought more new clothes & shoes. Catch up with friends who are available. Hope next month will be a better month for me.

Getting Over It

I've been pretty emotionally unstable due to some personal issues. Find myself getting pretty sensitive & petty. Definitely not due to PMS. I've been trying to sort out some feelings which is getting me easily frustrated at times. I am trying hard and I need time to get over it. I believe I can do it. Pardon me if you've been getting some "shit" from me during this difficult time. I know I can very emotionally attached but I am learning to manage it. I made a mistake once and I promised myself never to repeat it again. I will have to get over it and move on with my life. I shall not let my feelings overrule me again. I have to be sensible and know the consequences I have to bear. I hope to settle all these issues by end of June and start the 2nd half of the year afresh.

Pity

July 2007

December 2008

April 2009

These pictures brought back alot of fond memories. We started hanging around as group of good friends in 2007. There were regular drinking sessions that we get to know one another better. But as time passes by, some of us drifted apart due to lack of time. There were also cases that some couldn't get along due to some personal issues. There were even friends with more than 10 years of friendship that fell apart. Some were due to relationship issues. I really miss those good times even though some of us always gets drunk and do funny things. I could feel that everyone were sincere then. It is sad to know that some cannot even sit down and have a drink together. Many things happened over these 2 years. It has changed many of us and the way we think & behave. For me, I treasure every friend I have and treat them with sincerity. I use to expect the same from them. Now I take thing easy. If you treat me as friend, you will remember me. If you don't, I cannot force to become my friend. It is normal for people to move in & out of your life. Today I lost some friends, tomorrow I make some new ones. No point getting upset over such things. Just stay happy.

Breach of Trust

Trust is a really amazing thing in life. Trust is part of life. Whether it's love, family, work or friends. You have to learn to trust to make a relationship work. Some people get chances when they breach other's trust. Some don't cause it is not easy to get the trust back. I suppose it depends on every individuals' level of trust. Some has a higher threshold but some don't. For me, I only give the person 1 chance. Once you betray my trust, it's not easy to get it back again. I trust people quite easily and when I do that, I totally trust the person. Even if you get a 2nd chance, there is already a "scar" in the relationship which may never be cured. My only advice is don't ever breach a person's trust.

My Plans

Recently realized that I am a pretty "problematic" person. Why? Cause I think too much and always create problems for myself. I've been thinking alot. The more I think, the more problems I have. I think it's about time to sort out my thoughts and free myself from all the unnecessary problems. There are a few areas that I will need to sort and plan for myself moving forward:

1. Relationship

- To sort out my feelings for some people.

- Know exactly what I want in a relationship and concentrate on achieving it.

- Expand my circle of friends so that I can work towards my target.

- Learn to protect myself and never allow myself to fall easily for a guy & get hurt again.

2. Work

- Put in more time & effort in my career. It is not easy to get to where I am now and I must treasure this opportunity. I need to concentrate on it and prove that I can do well.

3. Finance

- Learn to manage my finances.

- Spend less & save more for my future.

4. Personality

- To improve on my character. Cut down my bad temper. Become more feminine.

- To take things easy. Been taking things too hard and this resulted in alot of hard feelings.

- Don't think so much and just concentrate on being happy.

Recently watched this movie call "Knowing". It made me realized that life is short and you never gonna know what will happen tomorrow. Why not treasure what you have now and forget about all the unhappiness in the past. Never allow hatred to stay in your heart. Learn to let go of the hatred and not bring them with you to your grave. No matter what wrong a person has done to you, learn to forgive & forget. Only by doing this then can you live a happier life. There is a saying:"Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is mystery, Today is a Gift."

可不可以不勇敢

我们可不可以不勇敢
当伤太重心太酸无力承担
就算现在女人很流行释然
好像什么困境都知道该怎么办
我们可不可以不勇敢
当爱太累梦太乱没有答案
难道不能坦白地放声哭喊
要从心底拿走一个人很痛

Working Weekend

Been very busy for the past week as I was in charge of coordinating a visit for winners for a sales contest organised by our Singapore office. The prize for them is a 3D2N visit to Singapore include air ticket, accommodation & recognition dinner. I was busy with the booking of the hotel, finding venues for the dinner as well as planning the itinerary. The winners finally arrived on 24 Apr (Fri). I had to be at the airport to welcome them and bring them to the hotel, followed by lunch & tour around the office building. In the evening, we had the recognition dinner at Red House @ The Quayside. After dinner, we sent some of the winners to Mustafa to shop and the rest of us ended up at Old School for a drink. I ended drinking quite a bit with 2 of our guests cause the rest were all driving. I think I drank about 5-6 Tequila shot/pop. Usually I get high after drinking 2-3 but that night, I was able to stay sober after taking so many. We finished at about 1am and lucky my boss sent me home. I slept at almost 2am.

On Saturday morning, I had to be at the hotel at 830am to bring them on a 1 day shopping tour around Singapore. I overslept cause drank too much the night earlier and had to take a cab to the hotel. They had requested for bus to ferry them around to do their shopping. We went to the Merlion & Sentosa to take some pictures. After that, they proceed to VivoCity to do some shopping. I was pretty tired by the time we finished Sentosa. After leaving them to shop on their own at Vivo, I went for my lunch at Kim Gary. As I was feeling sleepy, I decided to go watch a movie so that I can sleep in the cinema. Bought the 1.35pm show for movie Gu Gu The Cat. I slept in the cinema till about 240pm since I am supposed to meet the guests at 3pm. I didn't watch the movie at all since my purpose was to take a nap there.

After Vivo, we proceed to Takashimaya for more shopping. I left them to go shopping on their own. As for me, I met up with friends for a drink & some shopping. Got a nice dress from Far East & magazines from Kino. Passed by Bossini on my way back and decided to get the jacket I've been eyeing since March. I get 40% discount cause I am a member and it's my birthday month. The guests finished at 730pm and I got the bus to send them back to the hotel. I decided to go back home from Orchard cause I can take a direct express bus. I was so tired by the time I got home. It's been a tiring weekend but I managed to learn alot from this assignment. Another good thing is my boss promised me 1 day off to compensate for the day spent with them as guide.

Quick Temper

Realized that my quick temper has been getting me into alot of trouble. It's been 32 years and it's time for me to learn to be better. I changed quite a bit of bad habits recently but there are still room for improvement. A friend just told me this over msn:"The greatest enemy is Yourself". I think he is very right about this. Only I can decide if I want to be happy or not. I am not going to be happy if I keep getting angry easily. To make things worse, my anger gets me into trouble with friends at times. Friends who have know me for a long time will tolerate me which I am grateful. I guess it's time to work on improving myself. I really hope I can do it.

Do Me A Favour

I hope my friends who've been reading my blog can do me a big favour. I sincerely hope that you will not share my blog with your other friends especially those who may know me. I think the purpose of setting up a blog was to share my happiness & frustrations. I do not mind sharing them with close friends but I do not appreciate the whole world knowing them. If you really want to share my story with your friends, do ask me for permission first. Thank you so much.

Misunderstanding

First of all, let me sincerely apologise to a friend that I misunderstood in my earlier blog regarding FB. It is true that I overreacted but I do hope she understand where I am coming from after my explanation. Well, guess I really behaved like a 13 year old kid rather than a 32 year old lady. Hahaha. I admit that I am CHILDISH & IMMATURE! Hehe. Anyway, it feels good to clear up the misunderstanding. Like I say, if I am at fault, I will gladly apologise and make up for it. That is provided that I get a clear picture and confirm that it is a misunderstanding. As for those who are out to upset me, dun expect me to forgive & forget about it.

My Apologies

As usual, after reading the posts in my blog yesterday, I am sure alot of people are fuming mad right now. Nothing wrong for them to be angry cause people look at things differently. I apologise if you are offended by my posts. The purpose of my blog is write what I feel. I don't know why but suddenly there are alot of people reading my blog and I can no longer write things that I feel like writing anymore. You can say that I am petty and immature bah. Everyone has their way of venting their frustrations & anger and I share them in my blog. I am the type who will say what I am unhappy about and if you feel hurt, then I apologise. It's better to trash things out then to keep it in the heart forever. Only you yourself can prove your innocence and explain your actions. As for me, I only say my side of the story but that does not mean that I am right too. I may be wrong and if I am, I will gladly apologise for my mistake or misunderstanding. I am hurt in the process too so spare a thought for my feelings. I am not a saint so I also have my frustrations. As my friend, you can take it or leave it.

"Great" Pals

I've realized during this birthday that I've got some really "great" pals. Cause they didn't want to come to my party but had another party of their own. Can't blame them for not coming cause I invited someone whom they did not want to meet or see. Still have to thank them for the birthday present since they paid for it anyway. Next time, don't have to waste your money if you are not coming. I can understand your situation.

My Birthday Bash (18 April 2009)

To make it more fun this year, I decided to have a BBQ at East Coast chalet. Invited almost 30 friends to join me to celebrate my 32nd birthday. Another purpose was also to have a gathering for some friends who have not met for some time. It was a great session cause most friends came. I am truly grateful to those friends who helped at the party. Especially those who were sweating away at the BBQ pit. I also never expected my ex-boss Alicia to be there bbqing the food for me. Through this small gathering, I can see who are truly my friends. I am also thankful for all the wonderful birthday presents. I got a Marc Jacobs bag, Sovil et Titus watch, 400GB Western Digital external mini hard disk, Agnes B bedroom slippers & pen, Hello Kitty organiser, HK Disneyland mobile strap, a nice sign saying:"I'm the Princess, that's why" & flower shape cookie. Love all the presents I got this year. I am glad that my friends did not make me drunk this year. I was pretty high cause I was too busy to eat. Had only 3 chicken wings & 3 satays. Such a pity cause I heard that the food was nice. I also ordered my fav mango cake from Jack's Place for the birthday cake. The party ended at about 11pm after all my friends left. Only Cat, YY & Eric stayed over at the chalet with me. After clearing up the place, the guys wanted to watch soccer at East Coast Mac so we decided to go along although I was feeling high from the alcohol and also tired. Anyway, I still want to thank all my friends for making my 32nd birthday a memorable one.

A BIG THANK YOU!!!

My birthday is gonna be over in about 10mins times and I wanna use this post to say a BIG THANK YOU to all my friends who celebrated my birthday with me yesterday. Thank you so much for all the well wishes & also all the birthday presents I received. It's been great celebrating my birthday with all my beloved friends. I've had a great time. I also want to specially thank Alicia, YY, Cheryl, Jing Chuan, Daphne & Eric for helping with the BBQ. Special thanks to Kai Ee for being the bartender, Catherine for being the offical camera-woman & Abby for being my PA by answering my calls. Lots of appreciation to YY, Catherine & Eric for helping me with the preparation & staying over at the chalet to keep me company. I shall update more about the party in my next post.

Making Use

Nowadays, it's pretty normal for people to make use of one another to achieve their targets regardless of whether they are your friends or colleagues. Some may look at it as helping one another. I will only consider it help when someone offers you their assistance without you even prompting them. But when you purposely do or say something that will lead the person to help you, that is "making use". I am pretty fine with friends "making use" of me to get what they wanted but do make sure you return the favour. Those who decides to "dump" me aside after achieving their target are the ones who gets on my nerves. I cannot take it if I know you are basically making use of me. There is no problem for me to help you as a friend. But there should not be any hidden agenda behind all the help rendered. To put it in simple terms, I just don't like people to take advantage of me. There are also some friends who expect friends to be generous to them but they themselves are damn stingy. Maybe there are alot of people in this world who are very self-centered. They simply care about their own welfare. Nothing wrong to be selfish but there should always be a limit. I've seen alot throughout these years and realized who are those friends who will stay as friends with you for a long long time. I also believe that only self-centered people can become good friends with one another cause they are the same kind. I can't cause I expect my friends to treat me the same way I treated them. If you misuse my kindness, then you can forget about getting help from me anymore.

Turning 32 Soon!!!

It's time to count down to my birthday bash this weekend. I am a year OLDER again!!! Another 4 days and I am gonna be 32 years old. Although I always tell people it doesn't matter how old you are, important thing is to look young. I do look younger than my age but you just can't help feeling upset that you are getting older. Especially when you look at your friends who are of the same age but with better achievements in career or family. I am happy with what I have achieved in career but when it comes to other areas, I think I've failed terribly. I think it's time for me to grow up and think more maturely. Hope I can advance further in this coming year.

Summary

I've friends who asked me why I've been writing my blog in Chinese. Well, maybe I am able to express my feelings better in Chinese. Time to change back to English le. Purpose of this post is to summarise all the blogs I've written for the past 2 weeks. All of you out there probably guessing who I am writing about in my blog. Let me tell, I am talking about more than 1 guys lah. So dun bother trying to guess. I am just feeling a bit confused & troubled over this period. Am sorting out my thoughts which I am sure I will have a clear picture soon. Anyway, frens should be used to me always getting confused about relationships. I suppose they are not surprised with my bulk of rubbish on the blog le. Let's put all my "rubbish" aside and look forward to my birthday celebration this weekend.

好好珍惜现在所拥有的快乐时光，直到失去它为止

我想通了，这世界上有许多东西你不一定能得到的。只要能短暂拥有它已是一种幸福。应该好好珍惜现在所拥有的快乐时光，直到失去它为止。虽然不知道何时会失去这份幸福，但还是感激能曾经拥有它。在这一刻，我觉得我是快乐的，那就不要去在乎是否能拥有它多久。
就象这句话：“不在乎天长地久，只在乎曾经拥有”。

幸福不灭 - 罗志祥

没原因 就是喜欢你
在初次相遇 有重逢的心情
深呼吸 让心动隐形
完美的爱情 是无声的旋律
听 我听你 不确定的语气
等 我等你 放下你的犹豫
嘿 如果你 轻轻闭上眼睛
我会明白 你做的决定
Cause I Believe
那幸福不灭的定律
在你手心 会有谁给你的美丽
静者恒静 就让我的心安静地守着你
祝福不用回音
没原因 就是喜欢你
就像海眷恋 天空般 的心情
你前进 看着你背影
就足够世界 无条件 的放晴
你 如果已 爱上他的姓名
爱 如果已 没有我的空隙
嘿 只要你 可以永远开心
我会情愿 渐渐被忘记
Cause I Believe那幸福不灭的定律
在你手心 会有谁给你的美丽
静者恒静 就让我的心安静地守着你
把祝福送给你
Oh~ I believe
Cause I believe
那幸福不灭的定律
你的手心 不一定要由我握紧
就像恒星 总会有发光的原因
Oh~ I believe
你值得被珍惜
也值得我放弃

爱错了

你分得清「喜歡」和「愛」嗎？了解指數0%
“當你開始喜歡對方的時候，會認為那就是愛。你實在是純情得不得了，希望把自己的所有都奉獻給那個人，身邊的人很容易可以察覺你又陷入狂戀狀態。當你的愛人實在很幸運，你不會隱藏自己的感覺，勇於表達愛意，對方知道你的愛是不會輕易改變的，所以很有安全感。”
这是我在Facebook做的一个小测验所给的答案。我想我真的分不清楚「喜歡」和「愛」。我也很容易喜欢上一个人。而且都喜欢上不该喜欢的人。又不能向他们表白。明知道没回报还是把感情放了进去。常常一个人痛苦的从悲伤走出来。为什么我就不能喜欢上一个也同样喜欢我的人呢？我应该好好反省自己的恋爱观。不能轻易的喜欢上人了。我不要再让自己痛苦了。我要快乐！

了解而在一起，还是了解而分手

我常在想一对情侣是因为了解而在一起，还是了解而分手呢？我看过一些情侣是从朋友发展到情侣，我想这些是因为发现彼此有许多共同点而在一起的吧。也有一些是因为在一起太久了而无法忍受对方，所以分手了。到底有谁能告诉我答案呢？好矛盾喔！

谢谢

我只想对一位好朋友说声谢谢。谢谢您一直以来陪在我身边安慰，支持与鼓励我。谢谢你努力的帮我达到目标。谢谢你永远都知道我需要什么。谢谢您的细心。谢谢你无论在哪儿都记得我这个朋友。我对你的感激是不能用言语来形容的。我真心的希望我们的友谊能长久。我这辈子都会记得你这个朋友，也希望你不会忘了我。这份友谊是值得我珍惜的。我很荣幸能有你这么一个朋友。

好累哦！

我知道期限还没到，但我已没耐心了。我没有办法去了解他。我完全不知道他在想什么。他的行为让我难以捉摸。我好累好累哦。我决定放弃积极的态度。让一切随缘吧。我想如果我们真的有缘，老天爷会让我们在一起的。如果没有缘分，我会耐心等待下一个真命天子的出现。我也希望他能得到幸福。

只是心又飘到了哪里，就连自己看也看不清

这是取之于《葉子》这首歌的两句歌词。因为我发现自己的心又迷失了，就连自己看也看不清它在想什么。现在心情很乱，不知道要怎样安抚它。我以为已找到方向前进。但此时此刻我发现我的方向乱了。我不知道自己到底要的是什么。我不想自己努力白费掉，但又搞不清楚那到底是不是我想要的。我好讨厌现在的自己哦。 为什么不能搞清楚目标呢？我在浪费自己与别人的时间。我想我累了吧，好想就这样简简单单过一辈子哦！

阿桑 - 叶子

阿桑 - 叶子
词：陈晓娟　
作曲：陈晓娟
叶子　是不会飞翔的翅膀
翅膀　是落在天上的叶子
天堂　原来应该不是妄想
只是我早已经遗忘
当初怎么开始飞翔
孤单　是一个人的狂欢
狂欢　是一群人的孤单
爱情　原来的开始是陪伴
但我也渐渐地遗忘
当时是怎样有人陪伴
我一个人吃饭　旅行　到处走走停停
也一个人看书　写信　自己对话谈心
只是心又飘到了哪里
就连自己看也看不清
我想我不仅仅是失去你

身命可贵

今天跟往常一样，我回家便上网看娱乐新闻。可是不同的是我看到一篇让我很伤感的消息。那就是歌手阿桑，34歲乳癌驟逝。阿桑是在6年前唱紅偶像劇《薔薇之戀》片尾曲《葉子》的歌手。自己本身很喜欢《葉子》这首歌，那时也常在KTV唱。阿桑的聲音很悲，但歌聲總是很能撫慰人心。虽然我只听过阿桑唱《葉子》这首歌，但还是觉得她这么年轻就过世，真的是太可惜了。这件事让我了解到身命的可贵。有一些人觉得活着很痛苦，所以想结束身命。但他们可否想过有也许多人想勇敢的活下去，可是却没这个机会。身命是多么可贵啊！我们应该珍惜活着的每一分每一秒。就算活着有多么的痛苦，我们也要勇敢的活下去。我们应该为自己而活。

我快失去信心了！

朋友都知道我不是一个轻易放弃的人。可是这次我真的快失去信心了。我常告诉自己凡事都要尽力而为。一直以来我都不是一个很主动的人。但这一次我却非常主动与积极的去追求这个目标。我开始觉得累了。我已经很努力了，但还是得不到回报。难道是我不够努力吗？我已没什么耐心了。我的期限只到4月18日。如果再看不到成果，我就会放弃，让一切回到原点。

Why People Fall in Love???

Seriously I am not being pessimistic cause I cannot find a boyfriend. I look at many of friends and I start to wonder why people fall in love? Is it to find a companion to spend the rest of your life with? Have you ever asked yourself why you love your partner? Some people fall in love easily cause they are afraid of being lonely. Some feel that since all my friends are attached, I should be attached too. Another reason is probably because age is catching up and they dun wanna be left alone on the shelf. I am not saying that one cannot fall in love cause it really feels good when you are in love. I only hate the feeling when the passion is gone. That is when you start to see the ugly side of your partner and some ultimately choose to move on. These are the times when you will fall out of love. I wonder if we can choose to only fall in love and not out of love. I guess no one enjoy falling out of love. It takes a long time for you to forget a person compare to time taken to fall for him/her. Well, this is part of life. It is unlikely that the first person you fall for will be the one whom you spend the rest of the life with. There are such cases but it's not common. I always believe that it takes time to find the right one. It will be good if you ultimately find the your Mr/Miss Right. But even if you dun, there are still many other important things in life. Maybe you think that I am saying this in case I cannot find a partner myself. In some way, it is quite true but I also want those who read my blog to feel the same. Don't loose hope just because you cannot find the right one. Enjoy while you are in love and remember only the happy moments. Leave the sad past behind. Like what I always believe: "Live each day, as if there is no tomorrow. Be Happy. Give Thanks."

Every Guy's Best Friend

While I was doing my birthday invite list recently, I realized that I had more guy friends than gal friends. I even have friends who envy me that I had so many guy friends. While it feels good to be a popular gal among guys but the sad thing is most of them treated me like a "brother" rather than a gal friends. I am close to alot of guys cause they dun really treated me like a girl or maybe I dun behave like one. Most of them won't see me as someone whom they will fall in love with. I am more like a buddy to them. I've seen girls who are not good looking but they can find a boyfriend. I am not a pretty girl but I suppose I am ugly either. I start to reflect on my own character and behaviour. I conclude that maybe because I don't behave like a girl at times. I was told that I walk too fast as well as talk too fast, loud & too much. These are things that a lady would never do. Guys like girls who talk softly & slowly. I decided that it's time for me to change for the better. Don't be surprised if you notice a change in me. My ultimate aim is to become a guy's potential girlfriend and not good friend.

Cherish Each Moment

I copied this from a fren cause I find it really meaningful:

"Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived."